I saw the Da Vinci code. Here's something that you might not know about me. I don't recreationally read anymore. At all. I don't know how. Also. According to some nerds. I cheated in Sunday School. So. Yeah. Anyway. The movie had the potential to be awesome. I mean come on. It had the guy from Joe Vs. The Volcanoe. And. The Professional. Come on mayn. The PROFESSIONAL. But. Did you also know. It had Magneto. And. That guy from Raiders of the lost ark? If that one is to hard to figure out because you don't know how to use imdb. I'm talking about Doc Ock. That's funny. Because. It appears Dave just finished writing about an eight armed mollusk. And. I do get it.

So. Yeah. Back to the movie. I liked it better the first time. When it was called. Dogma. Also. I'm obviously not in a position to be giving movies ratings. But. ... You know how in Chronicles of Narnia. Probably the Lord of the Rings series. Or. Harry Potter. They have to super retardify movies? That's what DVC was. Like. There's probably alot of mystical things about the Catholic church that people don't know or understand. Because they watch South Park. But. Then. Opie Taylor decided to extra retardify the movie. And. Explain stuff about the book. Also. Like I said about recreational reading. For me. DVC was one of those books that people who don't normally recreationally read. Who pick up. So they could pretend to be smart. Like. Seriously. What the crap. Everyone is suddenly an art expert. And. Historian. And. I think the retardificiation. Was to help out the abundance of high school kids that were in the theatre. And. I still agree with the Red Vs. Blue mathematical proof that people are retarded. And. I know some people are retarded right now.

And. For me. DVC was like. Inside Man. Or. In an attempt at a rapper esque methaphor. Similie. Or. Analogy. It's kinda like going on a road trip with fun people who tell good stories and jokes. Except. Your destination is to something crappy like a final exam you didn't study for in a different language. Something like that. Watching the movie was good until you got to the ending.

Also. I got to ride in the Sub Imp. And. It makes me want to say. I have all the dumbest cars in the world.

OH yeah.
Instead of retardifying the stuff that people should know about the theories of DVC. Like. With the last supper portrait. And. Mona Lisa. Why not take the time to explain what the Fibonacci sequence was? Like. It was like. The same morons who have a hard time watching the movie. Because they had to be spoon fed everything. Just suddenly know what the sequence was. And. The crypotwheel should have been alphanumeric. And. Case sensitive. Plus. The password was way at the beginning of the alphabet.