Here's the dirty southpaw story. We were watching boxing at Alex's house and they tell you the stance of the fighter, which is either southpaw or orthodox, meaning left handed or right handed, respectively. What's up with those terms? They're obviously righty terms, implying that we're unorthodox and animals. What's up with right meaning correct too? Anyway, I've decided to embrace the southpaw term in my everyday speech. But righty can't use that word. So then I came up with the phrase "dirty southpaw," which is going to be my new hip hop nickname, because I'm a southpaw, and because I'm representing the dirty South.

Editor's note: Probably a warning should be at the top of this post saying this might be offensive to someone. But isn't everything possibly offensive to someone? Also, it's possible Alex came up with the term dirty southpaw, but that wouldn't make sense in this story, so I'll just say I invented it.