Here's the dirty southpaw story. We were watching boxing at Alex's house and they tell you the stance of the fighter, which is either southpaw or orthodox, meaning left handed or right handed, respectively. What's up with those terms? They're obviously righty terms, implying that we're unorthodox and animals. What's up with right meaning correct too? Anyway, I've decided to embrace the southpaw term in my everyday speech. But righty can't use that word. So then I came up with the phrase "dirty southpaw," which is going to be my new hip hop nickname, because I'm a southpaw, and because I'm representing the dirty South.

Editor's note: Probably a warning should be at the top of this post saying this might be offensive to someone. But isn't everything possibly offensive to someone? Also, it's possible Alex came up with the term dirty southpaw, but that wouldn't make sense in this story, so I'll just say I invented it.

When I was looking for a charity, I read this on the Charity Navigator site: "On average, right handed people live 9 years longer than left handed people." Let's discuss.

I think it's because everything in the world is built for right handed people. So probably dangerous tools and deadly weapons are for right handed people, and when southpaws use them it's disastrous.

A few weeks ago I was playing pool with Jay and his brother, and I was playing nine ball against Jay. There was this one shot where I could win the game, but it could only be done right handed. There were no other shots so I switched around to right handed as a joke, but I somehow made the shot and won the game. So maybe I play pool right handed, like how I use the mouse, because I sure was doing badly before that.

Stay tuned for the dirty southpaw story, and possibly other anti-righty propaganda...